gosh. its monday again. time back to college and go for classes like an idiot. sigh. :( but this monday is different than the other monday. what so different? class starts real late today. morning classes all canceled. well. this always happen in college. 'm used to it. lucky my class rep told me yesterday that class starts at 2 if not i will be real idiot in college early in the morning. haha! (: this is the first time 'm writing my blog in the morning. 'm way too bored. need to wait till 12 so i still have plenty of time rotting and stoning at home. hmm. is it a good thing? 'm wondering about it myself too. alright. another hour. going to finish this and get ready for college. boring classes today. enl lecturer is back from her holidays. oh no! well well well. till now i haven't start with my stupid research paper. lazy? out of idea? or what now? queenie! time to get up and start doing your work! no more last minute work. alright alright.
i always envy those couples with long relationship. and mine never seem to last long. the longest was my first one and it ended with heart breaking. it took me long enough to get over it and start with a serious relationship and it never be the same. or i should say that i was never the same anymore. the feeling seem to be on and off. i just don't know what's wrong with me. i seem to be flirting around. i know this is what a bitch does. or maybe 'm one. hmm. i don't know about that. what you think? i have my ex telling me that he felt insecure when he is with me, i don't care about his feeling and more and more. wow! seem like 'm a real suckie gf huh? alright. thanks for telling me this and i will bring this with me. i think its hard to find back the me when i had my first love. maybe i need someone that really love me and doesn't care what kind of person am i, and i can speak out whatever is in my mind without worries. and this guy. ain't easy to find. with him, i might change and find the real me back. (:
alright. that'a all for this. need to get ready myself for college. for now, study first. (:
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